Saturday 23 December 2017

How to cope with Chirstmas when you've had a hard year

As 2017 draws to a close I thought it would be fun to review the new year’s resolutions I set in my very first blog for 2017 and see how I did… 

1)    Give birth without needing surgery.

Nope.

2)    Have a baby that doesn’t need surgery.

*hysterical laughter followed by hysterical sobbing*

3)    Convince The Accountant to get a Vasectomy

Yay a win! Turns out having a mental breakdown can be incredibly persuasive. 

4)    Use the F word less.

Nope. Literally used it in a meeting at work the other day.

So, yeah. Could have been better.

I find Christmas quite busy and overwhelming anyway but it is even more so if your year hasn’t gone so great. I am having to actively try to feel joyful and enjoy Christmas this year, so I thought I would share a couple of the things that have been keeping me sane.

1)    Remember that everyone lies.

I have a love hate relationship with social media because I love keeping in touch with my friends and seeing what they’re up to but sometimes what they’re up to (holidays in the Greek Islands) is so much better than what I’m up to (waking up every 2 hours to feed a new-born) that it makes me question my entire life. 

But the thing is, social media is one big lie.

Real life example - I bumped into an old acquaintance one day and she told me that she had just had a weekend away with her husband.

“That sounds really nice!” I said.

“Oh no it was terrible.” She replied. She went on to tell me they had fought for most of the time about whether or not to have another baby, then he got food poisoning the second night so was in bed for the rest of the weekend vomiting so they didn’t do half the things they had wanted to do.

“I honestly wish we had just stayed at home” she said.

And yet, that very night, what should pop up in my newsfeed? A selection of beautiful sunset photos and couple selfies with the caption “just had the best romantic weekend getaway with this stunner, love you baby so blessed xxx”

Moral of the story – everyone lies. It is a sad but comforting fact. 

2)    Find your hope

When I type Jeff’s name into my phone the suggested word that comes up is “vasectomy”. This is because I literally told every contact on Facebook messenger about it. I was so excited. I know next year will have its challenges because we have two small children and are trying to start a business, but the fact I will not have be cut open or breast feed or be responsible for a new born child again makes me so happy. This year I gained so much hope and strength from my husband having this procedure I can’t even tell you. Through the long nights of seemingly endless crying I would take a breath and say to myself “I can do this because it is only temporary and I don’t ever have to do it again.”

Maybe though, you’ve had something difficult happen in your year that you might have to go through again. Plan something nice for 2018. Set some goals, even if they are only little. Treat yourself to something. There really is so much power in having something to look forward to and hope for.

3)    Speaking of hope, remember the reason for the season.

An even bigger source of hope for me than my husband’s vasectomy is my Christian faith. Hebrews 6 verse 19 describes the hope Christianity brings as an “anchor for the soul.”

The real message of Christmas is becoming increasingly lost in commercialised chaos and it is such a shame. I think that now more than ever people need to know that we have a God who is willing to reach down into our mess, love us, and offer us a second chance (or in my case a 1050th chance).

As Christians, Christmas is a time where we celebrate the love God showed to us in sending us his son. We celebrate that we have a God who works in mysterious ways, but who ultimately works for the good of those who love him.

I don’t know what next year has in store for our little family. But I do know this…

Neither pyloric stenosis nor C-sections, neither financial pressure nor toddler tantrums, neither mental breakdowns, nor excessive swearing, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Merry Christmas dear readers.

See you in 2018 x

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